Sunday, March 27, 2011

Hurdles and detours...

Hey everybody!

Again, I must apologize that it's been too long since our last update, but trust me that a LOT has happened in our adoption journey recently.

Before I get into the twists and turns happening in Ethiopia, we want to offer up a sincere and heartfelt THANK YOU to a few more friends whose contributions have helped us continue to grow our adoption fund. To Shanna Crooks, Jason Lawrence and a few anonymous contributors: we're humbled and indescribably grateful for your generosity. And more big thank you's are due to Kathryn Finn for your ongoing fundraiser efforts on our behalf. Much love to you all!!

Okay, so....where to begin?

Crazy things are happening in the Ethiopian adoption world over the last month. Through Ashley's fervent research and daily monitoring of several adoption blogs, we were alerted to some legal changes underway in Ethiopia whereby 90% of their international adoptions will soon be eliminated going forward. The entire Ethopian adoption community is in a tailspin and the effects of this change will be dramatic.

There are literally millions of children in dire need in Ethiopia, so it's unspeakably horrible that anyone would attempt to exploit the situation for personal profit and corrupt the system. But unfortunately, child trafficking is a problem that the Ethiopian government has not been able to control, and their apparent solution at this time is to restrict all international adoptions to 10% of that previously allowed. It's tragic for the millions of children who will be sentenced to a lifetime of abject poverty, disease and hopelessness due to this decision, and also devastating for adoptive parents-to-be whose cases may now be held up in litigation for a long time.

The other cause for major concern is traveling to northern Africa right now. Flights from the US to Ethiopia were previously routed through Egypt, which is in the midst of severe political turmoil. Safety is a major concern for any American currently traveling to that region, and the cost has also increased dramatically.

So. Where does that leave Ashley and I in our journey to start our family with an Ethopian son?

Tough questions. Major dilemmas. It's a gamble. Do we continue on this path and soon be too far along to turn back, only to find that our time frame is extended by years (or indefinitely)? Could we possibly face losing the opportunity to redirect the funds into an adoption with a guaranteed successful outcome? But what if these pending legal issues are resolved quickly and we learn that we gave up on Ethiopia too quickly? It's so hard to know what the right answer is.

Sometimes God's plan does not match what we have in mind.

Through much discussion and prayer, Ashley and I have determined that we will be flexible, open and adaptive to whatever unexpected twists and turns we encounter in the process and trust in Him completely. And we have come to the conclusion that it's not meant to happen for us with that country at this particular time.

Fortunately for us, we have a completed home study and were in the process of raising enough funds to get to the next step in the process, but we weren't too far along to be able to redirect our plan. So that's what we've decided to do.

Our initial decision to adopt from Ethiopia was fueled mainly by our empathy for the horrible poverty under which the people of that country live, coupled with our desire to be parents and start a family. If we could make a dramatic impact on the life of a child who otherwise had no hope, how could we NOT choose that route? Another factor steering us toward international adoption over domestic was cost and legal differences in the process. There is a window of time in a domestic adoption when the mother has a right to change her mind. The thought of getting emotionally invested and attached to a child with a potential to have the child taken back from you was too difficult to wrap our heads around. In an Ethiopian adoption, once the process is complete, that is your child, period. It all led us to the decision to start a journey with that country in mind.

But the curveball that's now been thrown at us has caused us to revisit and rethink our initial decision.

The degree of poverty in the U.S. may not be anywhere near that of Ethiopia, but there are undoubtedly plenty of children here in who are also in desperate need of a loving home and family. Unstable home situations, poverty, drugs, troubled pregnant teens -- the reasons we still have children here in need of adoption are numerous.

After researching numerous domestic adoption agencies, Ashley has found a great agency that can match us with a child in need in a matter of months once we have the funds raised. We've notified them that we're open to children without specificity to gender or race; unfortunately certain races have much more available children, and typically those are the children with a significantly smaller pool of potential adoptive parents. It's important to us that we're not only satisfying our desperate desire to start a family, but in doing so, making a difference in the life of a child who would otherwise have the odds stacked against him/her.

So many of you have been so supportive and generous to us in this process, and we wanted to give a full explanation of our change in plans. We're continuing full steam ahead with our adoption and are as energized and full of determination as ever.

We fully intend to adopt more than once, and our emotional attachment to Ethiopia remains.

Hopefully, if and when things settle down in that country and Ethiopian adoption becomes feasible again for us, our next child will be one of the millions of African children in desperate need. Until then, we ask you to join us in prayer for the children and people of Ethiopia.

In the meantime, I'll try to do a better job of keeping you all updated on where we're at and how close we're getting to the goal. Lots of fundraiser ideas to get underway, grants to apply for and work to do!

God is good all the time, and through Him, all things are possible.

Much love to all of you,
JJ

4 comments:

  1. Keep your heads high. Parenting (as I understand it) is a series of incredible high and sometimes, seemingly devastating lows, but you must still go on. So Welcome to Parenthood, you're parents already. Good luck as you truck on.

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  2. Praying that God will make His plan abundantly clear...He already knows the outcome. Phil. 1:6

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  3. God already has a child picked out for you! I can't wait to see who it is! You are amazing people and whoever gets to be your child will be blessed beyond measure - love you both!

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