Hey there; welcome to our blog! JJ here. To anyone who doesn’t already know, Ashley and I are in the beginning stages of what I’m sure will prove to be an incredible journey: we’re adopting a child from Ethiopia. We’re so overwhelmed with emotion and excitement; it’s all we can think about.
Our plan with this journal is to document our thoughts, feelings and emotions as we go through this process. We want to share every step along the way with family and friends who are spread out across the country.
Best of all, it will be wonderful when our child is able to read our words and find comfort in learning how much he was wanted and loved. How much we prayed. How devoted we are to his future. And for him to discover how all things are a part of God’s plan.
Which brings me to how Ashley and I met...
Social Networking To The Rescue
As many of you know, I’m a musician, and I’m in a band called Groove Addiction. Always looking to promote, I spent countless hours from 2004-2007 hustling the band’s music anywhere I could. Myspace, during those years, was the coolest new way to spread your music and acquire new fans across the globe – including fans in, say, Pennsylvania.
Neither Ashley nor I remember exactly how she ended up on my band’s page or how the two of us ended up communicating, but apparently the simple decision to accept a friend request started it all. Somehow, even with all the friends on her page and all the fans on our page stacking the odds against it, Ashley and I managed to discover each other’s profiles and connect.
We quickly bonded over sense of humor, regularly commenting on the other’s pictures and blog entries; I loved her wit and how it challenged me to keep pace. A casual online friendship between us began on Myspace and lasted several years. We drifted in and out of each other’s online lives, occasionally checking in to say hello, crack a joke or solicit the other for relationship advice. And that’s all either of us ever expected it to be. Until midway through 2007, when fate would have it that we each ended relationships simultaneously and suddenly found ourselves with a lot more time to log on and say hello. The more we talked to each other, the more we wanted to keep talking.
Conversations with Ashley quickly became the highlight of my day. I began staying up until the wee hours nearly every night talking to this girl I’d never met who was 700 miles away. Whether we were following random tangents and making each other laugh, having discussions about issues of the day, or delving deeper into our hopes, dreams, family and history, I found myself intoxicated with her words.
It was refreshing and unique to find myself falling for someone based solely on her ideas and the way she expressed them. Isn’t that what should really matter most?
We both knew we needed to meet face-to face, and the sooner the better.
"So, yeah, um,… guess what everybody? I’m flying to Nashville to meet this guy..."
I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for Ashley to psyche herself up for the conversations she had with her family and friends after I bought her a plane ticket to come see me. It made no sense. You’re doing what? Going to see who? Have you lost your mind?
If either of my sisters or any of my female friends had told me they wanted to fly across the country to visit some guy they had met online, I would have seriously questioned their sanity and pleaded with them to rethink that ridiculous idea. So I understood everyone’s doubts, concerns and skepticism. But in spite of it all, Ashley and I meeting was serendipity. The way we connected was too perfect. We were supposed to meet. We had to find out if it could be this good in person. So she packed her bags, got on a plane and headed south.
I’ll never forget how my heart was racing as I saw her face for the first time as she nervously descended the stairs into the baggage claim area where I was waiting. It was hard to focus and act normal. I was overwhelmed by the sheer weirdness of actually seeing – right before my eyes - the living, breathing person with whom I’d shared so many intimate, deep conversations online and on the phone.
Long story short...
(lest I end up writing an entire book about this)
In retrospect, we both agree that our first weekend together was sorta awkward. But there were some great moments. Enough of them that we both felt convinced that we should embrace the risks, follow our hearts and eliminate the miles between us as soon as possible. Two weeks later, Ashley made a bold, life-changing decision: she packed up her car and moved to Nashville. The doubts anyone might have initially had about it soon vanished. Ashley instantly bonded with all of my friends and became an integral part of the group. Before long, she and I made trips to Pennsylvania, Illinois and Arizona to meet each other’s families. I felt instantly welcomed and loved by her family, and she by mine. They all saw for themselves how easy and right Ashley and I are together. With each visit since, the love and bond with family continues to grow and deepen.
On a warm August night in 2008, after a whirlwind evening of laughter, wine and dancing at the Franklin Jazz Festival, I surprised her (and myself) with a marriage proposal in the parking lot as we walked back to the car. I had been working for weeks on exactly what I would say and how I would propose, but had no definite plan in place yet. I hadn’t even picked up the ring that I’d bought. This certainly wasn’t the time or place I had imagined, but the moment felt perfect. So I dropped to one knee and asked her to marry me through tears of joy. She said yes, we cried together, we slow danced to the buzz of the parking lot streetlights, I put my key ring on her finger, and the rest is history. We opted to elope in a beautiful, short ceremony at one of our favorite places, Arrington Vineyards, on July 3rd, 2009.
Marrying Ashley is the best decision I’ve ever made in my life. She makes me laugh. She makes me smile. She gives me strength and support . And she continues to inspire me as she evolves in her faith, her love and her sense of compassion and wisdom. I’m a better man with her by my side, and look forward to tackling life’s challenges and triumphs together.
We know how easily we might have never met. Every moment holds within it an opportunity; sometimes the seemingly small decisions start a chain of events that can change lives. We thank God every day that His will brought us together.
As we now begin our journey through the financial and emotional challenges involved with trying to bring this child home to us, we find comfort in knowing God will provide. If we trust in Him, He will make a way. We’re eternally grateful that we’re saved by His grace.
***
"The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of
another human being with whom one's relationship has a glowing depth,
beauty, and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of
love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing. It cannot
be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it.
It is a sort of a divine accident."
It is a sort of a divine accident."
-Sir Hugh Walpoe
