For those of you who've tuned in, pitched in - graciously sending your prayers and donations for our adoption journey - Ashley and I both want to say another heartfelt thank you. We apologize for not doing a better job of updating this blog on our progress.
I believe it was Frederick Douglass who once said "without struggle, there is no progress." Unfortunately, for us, the last year has felt like mostly struggle, with very little progress to report.
Here's what we've achieved so far: we saved and raised enough money to complete a home study, pay application fees and begin an adoption fund, we adapted our plan after Ethiopia's laws changed and found a new agency, and we pulled together all the documents and paperwork we'd need to activate our adoption "profile."
So what's been the holdup? The biggest struggle has been trying to figure out how to save or raise the remaining $18,000 required to complete the process. It's a huge brick wall that feels nearly insurmountable. We were aware going in that it was going to be expensive, but we just decided we'd dive in headfirst and figure it out as we go. We'd trust in God and keep plowing forward.
But it's funny how God works. Sometimes we get so fixated on the mental picture of a specific goal we're working toward, we miss other doors that may be wide open and waiting for us to notice them.
Ashley came to me the other night, tentatively tiptoeing around an "idea" she had, worried that I would be exasperated by the thought of yet another detour and major overhaul in our adoption plan. But I wasn't. It made sense to me. It made so much sense, I wondered how we both had missed seriously considering it earlier...
Adoption through foster care.
Ashley and I have always had this vision in our heads of bringing home a little newborn infant, going through all the sleepless nights and feedings and diaper changings that define early parenthood. We could name the child, nurture the child, help shape who he/she would become...be "mommy" and "daddy" from day one.
But God keeps putting the brakes on our plans. Rather than rethink the specifics of it, we just kept getting more frustrated and disheartened at how out-of-reach the finish line kept feeling.
Until that night last week.
There are thousands of kids right here in the U.S. needing to be adopted. They're not newborns. Their chance of ever feeling the unconditional love of a mother and father (something most of us so often take for granted) diminishes with each passing day. Many of them are in undesirable living situations, passed around in a system that makes it difficult to ever establish familial bonds or build trust in others. Lives are dramatically (sometimes permanently) impacted by what's missing - the normalcy of a stable home environment as a part of a loving family. A home base they know isn't going anywhere. Parents and family to help guide and love them.
As we skimmed through profiles of adorable foster children across the country waiting to be adopted, it became clear to both of us that this is why our plan hasn't worked so far. It was our "a-ha" moment. Adopting a child out of foster care is what we're supposed to do. *gulp* Perhaps even a sibling pair?
The foster care system works much differently than either international or domestic adoptions. We do not need to go through an agency; our social worker can handle all the steps in the process for us. Nearly all of these children are available to be adopted at no cost (minor legal fees and travel costs, but no agency fees). This eliminates our biggest holdup: the financial burden of raising another $18K! All of this can be completed very quickly. It's suddenly become very REAL to us. :)
Many of these children have a variety of issues - physical and emotional. They have varying degrees of challenges, from mild to severe, and there are kids of vastly different ages available as well.
With no parental experience whatsoever (other than overly-discussed parenting theories and ideas that are sure to be destroyed once we're in the thick of it), Ashley and I have decided that we're not equipped yet to handle anyone over 5 years old. Maybe down the line we will be, but not for our first. So we're mostly focusing on sibling pairs in the 2-5 year-old range.
We've already sent our homestudy and application inquiry for a beautiful 3-year-old African-American boy and his precious 2-year old sister in Oregon. Not sure how likely we are to be matched, since we're so far away. But we'll see.
We're beginning a government-required 6-week parenting/fostering class tomorrow night, and we have a meeting set with our social worker next week to discuss all our options and learn more about the process and what to expect.
We're both anxious, excited, nervous, and admittedly a little scared. Going from our current lives to *BOOM* instant family is a bit overwhelming of a thought to ponder. But our lives are just a little too comfortable right now. I firmly believe when things get too easy, you need to rattle your own cage a bit in order to keep growing.
Reading articles and books about how to swim won't teach you to swim; there comes a time when you have to dive into the water and figure it out.
We know this won't be easy. We're facing a challenging future.
Ashley summed it up perfectly and eloquently in an email she sent me Friday (she doesn't know I'm sharing parts of it here, so hopefully that will be okay...haha).
Her words: "I was thinking about how hard it’s going to be un-train children and retrain their thinking and move them towards truth. How hard it’s going to be to teach them to trust and love again. How many ups and downs there will be. How many tears and fights and arguments. And then I was thinking… WHY!?!?! Why work so hard on children, why work so hard on people, why care, why not just live the way we are with all the comforts we can afford ourselves? Then it hit me: people matter because they are eternal, without beginning or end. That makes them infinitely important and TOTALLY worth it. Everything is at stake. It really makes me understand why we’re doing this. ...I SO cannot wait to start this adventure with you. I can’t wait to see how God uses us and helps these children. And I pray so hard that they will come to know and love Him."
So there's the big news.
There's finally light at the end of the tunnel. This is actually going to happen! LOL
Now that we anticipate regularly having new things to report, I'll make sure to update our progress more often. I'll post pictures of the kid(s) once we've been matched.
I'm sure we'll be asking for advice from all of you parents out there on a regular basis once we've officially begun our family. And probably soliciting any hand-me-downs available too (we have no kid stuff yet! Ack! Car seats, cribs, clothes, diapers. Wow. So much to start prepping for!)
Much love to all of you.
God bless!!
JJ
Friday, July 22, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Hurdles and detours...
Hey everybody!
Again, I must apologize that it's been too long since our last update, but trust me that a LOT has happened in our adoption journey recently.
Before I get into the twists and turns happening in Ethiopia, we want to offer up a sincere and heartfelt THANK YOU to a few more friends whose contributions have helped us continue to grow our adoption fund. To Shanna Crooks, Jason Lawrence and a few anonymous contributors: we're humbled and indescribably grateful for your generosity. And more big thank you's are due to Kathryn Finn for your ongoing fundraiser efforts on our behalf. Much love to you all!!
Okay, so....where to begin?
Crazy things are happening in the Ethiopian adoption world over the last month. Through Ashley's fervent research and daily monitoring of several adoption blogs, we were alerted to some legal changes underway in Ethiopia whereby 90% of their international adoptions will soon be eliminated going forward. The entire Ethopian adoption community is in a tailspin and the effects of this change will be dramatic.
There are literally millions of children in dire need in Ethiopia, so it's unspeakably horrible that anyone would attempt to exploit the situation for personal profit and corrupt the system. But unfortunately, child trafficking is a problem that the Ethiopian government has not been able to control, and their apparent solution at this time is to restrict all international adoptions to 10% of that previously allowed. It's tragic for the millions of children who will be sentenced to a lifetime of abject poverty, disease and hopelessness due to this decision, and also devastating for adoptive parents-to-be whose cases may now be held up in litigation for a long time.
The other cause for major concern is traveling to northern Africa right now. Flights from the US to Ethiopia were previously routed through Egypt, which is in the midst of severe political turmoil. Safety is a major concern for any American currently traveling to that region, and the cost has also increased dramatically.
So. Where does that leave Ashley and I in our journey to start our family with an Ethopian son?
Tough questions. Major dilemmas. It's a gamble. Do we continue on this path and soon be too far along to turn back, only to find that our time frame is extended by years (or indefinitely)? Could we possibly face losing the opportunity to redirect the funds into an adoption with a guaranteed successful outcome? But what if these pending legal issues are resolved quickly and we learn that we gave up on Ethiopia too quickly? It's so hard to know what the right answer is.
Sometimes God's plan does not match what we have in mind.
Through much discussion and prayer, Ashley and I have determined that we will be flexible, open and adaptive to whatever unexpected twists and turns we encounter in the process and trust in Him completely. And we have come to the conclusion that it's not meant to happen for us with that country at this particular time.
Fortunately for us, we have a completed home study and were in the process of raising enough funds to get to the next step in the process, but we weren't too far along to be able to redirect our plan. So that's what we've decided to do.
Our initial decision to adopt from Ethiopia was fueled mainly by our empathy for the horrible poverty under which the people of that country live, coupled with our desire to be parents and start a family. If we could make a dramatic impact on the life of a child who otherwise had no hope, how could we NOT choose that route? Another factor steering us toward international adoption over domestic was cost and legal differences in the process. There is a window of time in a domestic adoption when the mother has a right to change her mind. The thought of getting emotionally invested and attached to a child with a potential to have the child taken back from you was too difficult to wrap our heads around. In an Ethiopian adoption, once the process is complete, that is your child, period. It all led us to the decision to start a journey with that country in mind.
But the curveball that's now been thrown at us has caused us to revisit and rethink our initial decision.
The degree of poverty in the U.S. may not be anywhere near that of Ethiopia, but there are undoubtedly plenty of children here in who are also in desperate need of a loving home and family. Unstable home situations, poverty, drugs, troubled pregnant teens -- the reasons we still have children here in need of adoption are numerous.
After researching numerous domestic adoption agencies, Ashley has found a great agency that can match us with a child in need in a matter of months once we have the funds raised. We've notified them that we're open to children without specificity to gender or race; unfortunately certain races have much more available children, and typically those are the children with a significantly smaller pool of potential adoptive parents. It's important to us that we're not only satisfying our desperate desire to start a family, but in doing so, making a difference in the life of a child who would otherwise have the odds stacked against him/her.
So many of you have been so supportive and generous to us in this process, and we wanted to give a full explanation of our change in plans. We're continuing full steam ahead with our adoption and are as energized and full of determination as ever.
We fully intend to adopt more than once, and our emotional attachment to Ethiopia remains.
Hopefully, if and when things settle down in that country and Ethiopian adoption becomes feasible again for us, our next child will be one of the millions of African children in desperate need. Until then, we ask you to join us in prayer for the children and people of Ethiopia.
In the meantime, I'll try to do a better job of keeping you all updated on where we're at and how close we're getting to the goal. Lots of fundraiser ideas to get underway, grants to apply for and work to do!
God is good all the time, and through Him, all things are possible.
Much love to all of you,
JJ
Again, I must apologize that it's been too long since our last update, but trust me that a LOT has happened in our adoption journey recently.
Before I get into the twists and turns happening in Ethiopia, we want to offer up a sincere and heartfelt THANK YOU to a few more friends whose contributions have helped us continue to grow our adoption fund. To Shanna Crooks, Jason Lawrence and a few anonymous contributors: we're humbled and indescribably grateful for your generosity. And more big thank you's are due to Kathryn Finn for your ongoing fundraiser efforts on our behalf. Much love to you all!!
Okay, so....where to begin?
Crazy things are happening in the Ethiopian adoption world over the last month. Through Ashley's fervent research and daily monitoring of several adoption blogs, we were alerted to some legal changes underway in Ethiopia whereby 90% of their international adoptions will soon be eliminated going forward. The entire Ethopian adoption community is in a tailspin and the effects of this change will be dramatic.
There are literally millions of children in dire need in Ethiopia, so it's unspeakably horrible that anyone would attempt to exploit the situation for personal profit and corrupt the system. But unfortunately, child trafficking is a problem that the Ethiopian government has not been able to control, and their apparent solution at this time is to restrict all international adoptions to 10% of that previously allowed. It's tragic for the millions of children who will be sentenced to a lifetime of abject poverty, disease and hopelessness due to this decision, and also devastating for adoptive parents-to-be whose cases may now be held up in litigation for a long time.
The other cause for major concern is traveling to northern Africa right now. Flights from the US to Ethiopia were previously routed through Egypt, which is in the midst of severe political turmoil. Safety is a major concern for any American currently traveling to that region, and the cost has also increased dramatically.
So. Where does that leave Ashley and I in our journey to start our family with an Ethopian son?
Tough questions. Major dilemmas. It's a gamble. Do we continue on this path and soon be too far along to turn back, only to find that our time frame is extended by years (or indefinitely)? Could we possibly face losing the opportunity to redirect the funds into an adoption with a guaranteed successful outcome? But what if these pending legal issues are resolved quickly and we learn that we gave up on Ethiopia too quickly? It's so hard to know what the right answer is.
Sometimes God's plan does not match what we have in mind.
Through much discussion and prayer, Ashley and I have determined that we will be flexible, open and adaptive to whatever unexpected twists and turns we encounter in the process and trust in Him completely. And we have come to the conclusion that it's not meant to happen for us with that country at this particular time.
Fortunately for us, we have a completed home study and were in the process of raising enough funds to get to the next step in the process, but we weren't too far along to be able to redirect our plan. So that's what we've decided to do.
Our initial decision to adopt from Ethiopia was fueled mainly by our empathy for the horrible poverty under which the people of that country live, coupled with our desire to be parents and start a family. If we could make a dramatic impact on the life of a child who otherwise had no hope, how could we NOT choose that route? Another factor steering us toward international adoption over domestic was cost and legal differences in the process. There is a window of time in a domestic adoption when the mother has a right to change her mind. The thought of getting emotionally invested and attached to a child with a potential to have the child taken back from you was too difficult to wrap our heads around. In an Ethiopian adoption, once the process is complete, that is your child, period. It all led us to the decision to start a journey with that country in mind.
But the curveball that's now been thrown at us has caused us to revisit and rethink our initial decision.
The degree of poverty in the U.S. may not be anywhere near that of Ethiopia, but there are undoubtedly plenty of children here in who are also in desperate need of a loving home and family. Unstable home situations, poverty, drugs, troubled pregnant teens -- the reasons we still have children here in need of adoption are numerous.
After researching numerous domestic adoption agencies, Ashley has found a great agency that can match us with a child in need in a matter of months once we have the funds raised. We've notified them that we're open to children without specificity to gender or race; unfortunately certain races have much more available children, and typically those are the children with a significantly smaller pool of potential adoptive parents. It's important to us that we're not only satisfying our desperate desire to start a family, but in doing so, making a difference in the life of a child who would otherwise have the odds stacked against him/her.
So many of you have been so supportive and generous to us in this process, and we wanted to give a full explanation of our change in plans. We're continuing full steam ahead with our adoption and are as energized and full of determination as ever.
We fully intend to adopt more than once, and our emotional attachment to Ethiopia remains.
Hopefully, if and when things settle down in that country and Ethiopian adoption becomes feasible again for us, our next child will be one of the millions of African children in desperate need. Until then, we ask you to join us in prayer for the children and people of Ethiopia.
In the meantime, I'll try to do a better job of keeping you all updated on where we're at and how close we're getting to the goal. Lots of fundraiser ideas to get underway, grants to apply for and work to do!
God is good all the time, and through Him, all things are possible.
Much love to all of you,
JJ
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
FINALLY! An update on the adoption process & stuff.
Hey everybody!
Okay, so I know this is WAAAAAAAAY overdue. A few months ago, we had another fundraiser yard sale, after which, I planned to post a blog entry about it. But life got in the way, and updating the blog kept getting bumped down the priority list and shelved until the next day. And a day turned into a week, which turned into a month. Ergh.
But I actually have a few minutes of free time right now before Ash gets home from work and we head out to do a full evening's-worth of errands, so here I am. Where do I begin? A lot has happened since we last updated.
First of all, we owe a HUGE heartfelt thank you to many people who have donated money, time, resources & items for our last sale. Chip & Holly Seelig: the result of your stealth fundraising work on our behalf was a surprise that moved us to tears, as did your words of encouragement. You two are so unbelievably awesome - we love you guys. Grandma & Pappy (Don & Shirley Kuhn): another surprise; your donation in a beautiful hand-made card means more to us than you could possibly know. We miss & love you and can't wait to get up there again. Thank you. Kathryn Finn: what you're doing with your jewelry sales for us was unexpected and is SO appreciated, as were your donations to our yard sale. So glad we could be a part of your wedding. Duane Brewer & Alberto Villalobos: you two could have easily sold your big-ticket items on e-bay or craigslist, but instead you donated them to our yard sale. You both rock. Thank you so much.
The amazingly cool thing is that our little boy is someday going to learn how many people wanted him here, and how many people gave of themselves to help make it happen. All of you are playing a huge part in this endeavor; we could not do it without you.
I don't have any photos from that last yard sale (I know, you're probably horribly disappointed - no pictures of strangers sifting through odd things strewn about our driveway). It was successful, even if I don't have any visual evidence to prove it. Emjae manned the ship again, and artfully so. We raised a little under $200 that day for the adoption fund, and we still have a few bigger items that didn't sell which we plan to put on craigslist as soon as this crazy holiday season is over.
The biggest news of all regarding the adoption is that we found our social worker and had our home study. For those of you unfamiliar with such things, a home study is a fairly elaborate process whereby your medical & financial records are combed through, your house is inspected, a whole slew of forms must be acquired and/or filled out, etc. It's a basic "get to know you" situation with your social worker, requiring a few meetings and a lot of paperwork.
Ashley was pretty nervous leading up to the first meeting, fearing that we would be discovered to be unworthy for one reason or another -- perhaps because our social worker would detect a broken part of our fence that hasn't yet been fixed, or maybe she'd think we could have done a better job of cleaning the upstairs toilet and thus mark "FAIL" on our papers. We cleaned the night before with a fervor that some might characterize as borderline obsessive (and by some, I mean me). Fortunately, she turned out to be a wonderfully sweet and talkative older lady who had lots of stories and was full of warmth, smiles and laughter. It felt like grandma had come over to visit. Totally not intimidating or stressful in any way.
And the best news of all: we passed with flying colors. We still are waiting on a few pieces of paperwork before she can submit it all, but it's looking good.
The next big hurdle is $3,000 due to the agency. Once we've gathered & saved enough to pay that, it's hurry up & wait for the next steps in the process and the next big chunk of money due. I have determined that it's a wiser move to let Ashley handle the specifics of the process -- she's absolutely GREAT at researching and planning. Me? Not so much. She knows all the details, I speak in vast generalizations about this whole thing. :) I'll have to ask her to post a more detailed account of what's going on than I'm capable of doing. What I do know (other than how much money we have to save and raise) is that there are some really exciting things that should be happening for us in 2011: our dossier, a referral, and two trips to Ethiopia. The 2nd trip will be to bring our baby boy home. I can't even fathom what an amazing year this is going to be; gives me the chills just thinking about it.
I'm much more aware of parents and their young children now than I used to be. I'm distracted by any example I see of a dad experiencing a moment with his child. I noticed a dad teaching his son to play checkers outside of Cracker Barrel. I noticed a man about my age with his wife and three young children at the tree farm looking for the perfect Christmas tree to cut down. I see dads all the time now, and I wistfully imagine myself in their shoes. I can't wait. It seems so far off, so unreal to me still. Sometimes it's hard to believe it's ever going to actually happen, but I have faith in God and know that our patience will be rewarded.
Hopefully, if all goes well, by this time next year, we'll be receiving the best Christmas gift we could ever hope for.
I'll try to do a better job of keeping the blog updated after the holidays.
Until then,
Merry Christmas and God bless.
JJ
Okay, so I know this is WAAAAAAAAY overdue. A few months ago, we had another fundraiser yard sale, after which, I planned to post a blog entry about it. But life got in the way, and updating the blog kept getting bumped down the priority list and shelved until the next day. And a day turned into a week, which turned into a month. Ergh.
But I actually have a few minutes of free time right now before Ash gets home from work and we head out to do a full evening's-worth of errands, so here I am. Where do I begin? A lot has happened since we last updated.
First of all, we owe a HUGE heartfelt thank you to many people who have donated money, time, resources & items for our last sale. Chip & Holly Seelig: the result of your stealth fundraising work on our behalf was a surprise that moved us to tears, as did your words of encouragement. You two are so unbelievably awesome - we love you guys. Grandma & Pappy (Don & Shirley Kuhn): another surprise; your donation in a beautiful hand-made card means more to us than you could possibly know. We miss & love you and can't wait to get up there again. Thank you. Kathryn Finn: what you're doing with your jewelry sales for us was unexpected and is SO appreciated, as were your donations to our yard sale. So glad we could be a part of your wedding. Duane Brewer & Alberto Villalobos: you two could have easily sold your big-ticket items on e-bay or craigslist, but instead you donated them to our yard sale. You both rock. Thank you so much.
The amazingly cool thing is that our little boy is someday going to learn how many people wanted him here, and how many people gave of themselves to help make it happen. All of you are playing a huge part in this endeavor; we could not do it without you.
I don't have any photos from that last yard sale (I know, you're probably horribly disappointed - no pictures of strangers sifting through odd things strewn about our driveway). It was successful, even if I don't have any visual evidence to prove it. Emjae manned the ship again, and artfully so. We raised a little under $200 that day for the adoption fund, and we still have a few bigger items that didn't sell which we plan to put on craigslist as soon as this crazy holiday season is over.
The biggest news of all regarding the adoption is that we found our social worker and had our home study. For those of you unfamiliar with such things, a home study is a fairly elaborate process whereby your medical & financial records are combed through, your house is inspected, a whole slew of forms must be acquired and/or filled out, etc. It's a basic "get to know you" situation with your social worker, requiring a few meetings and a lot of paperwork.
Ashley was pretty nervous leading up to the first meeting, fearing that we would be discovered to be unworthy for one reason or another -- perhaps because our social worker would detect a broken part of our fence that hasn't yet been fixed, or maybe she'd think we could have done a better job of cleaning the upstairs toilet and thus mark "FAIL" on our papers. We cleaned the night before with a fervor that some might characterize as borderline obsessive (and by some, I mean me). Fortunately, she turned out to be a wonderfully sweet and talkative older lady who had lots of stories and was full of warmth, smiles and laughter. It felt like grandma had come over to visit. Totally not intimidating or stressful in any way.
And the best news of all: we passed with flying colors. We still are waiting on a few pieces of paperwork before she can submit it all, but it's looking good.
The next big hurdle is $3,000 due to the agency. Once we've gathered & saved enough to pay that, it's hurry up & wait for the next steps in the process and the next big chunk of money due. I have determined that it's a wiser move to let Ashley handle the specifics of the process -- she's absolutely GREAT at researching and planning. Me? Not so much. She knows all the details, I speak in vast generalizations about this whole thing. :) I'll have to ask her to post a more detailed account of what's going on than I'm capable of doing. What I do know (other than how much money we have to save and raise) is that there are some really exciting things that should be happening for us in 2011: our dossier, a referral, and two trips to Ethiopia. The 2nd trip will be to bring our baby boy home. I can't even fathom what an amazing year this is going to be; gives me the chills just thinking about it.
I'm much more aware of parents and their young children now than I used to be. I'm distracted by any example I see of a dad experiencing a moment with his child. I noticed a dad teaching his son to play checkers outside of Cracker Barrel. I noticed a man about my age with his wife and three young children at the tree farm looking for the perfect Christmas tree to cut down. I see dads all the time now, and I wistfully imagine myself in their shoes. I can't wait. It seems so far off, so unreal to me still. Sometimes it's hard to believe it's ever going to actually happen, but I have faith in God and know that our patience will be rewarded.
Hopefully, if all goes well, by this time next year, we'll be receiving the best Christmas gift we could ever hope for.
I'll try to do a better job of keeping the blog updated after the holidays.
Until then,
Merry Christmas and God bless.
JJ
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Before I go eat a brownie...
Drum Roll Please...We have found our social worker! Which means the process is moving full steam ahead.
We received the package of forms a few days ago and instantly I was ON IT, like some sort of superhero in a cape. But today, while working on filling out the forms and answering some of the tougher, more personal questions, the emotional distance I've been putting between myself and the realization of how HUGE adoption is came crashing in on itself. I broke down. And I realized a couple things. First, I realized that I am an emotional sap... a big, soupy sap. And second, more importantly, I realized that love is easy.
I already love this child, and I love his biological mother and father. I've not yet been a mother, but having to consider the question "How do you feel about your adopted child's mother and father?" almost made me drop to my knees in thankfulness and tears. I cry at the thought of them. I do not yet know my future child and I do not yet know his darling mother, but I'm filled with gratitude and humility, faced with the overwhelming thought that giving up her newborn child so that he can have a chance to live out his dreams will probably be the hardest thing she'll ever have to do. I have no words. I hope she knows that God is good, and that I will love him like he is my own - because he will be.
Adopted children are shared. Shared by many people, in many places. They have two mothers, two fathers, and a God that orchestrates it all. I hope to meet their family; hug them and thank them while feeling completely inadequate and at a loss for words. How do you thank someone for their own flesh and blood? I fear you can't. I suspect that all the hope, gratitude, sadness and grace will be felt through a look, a glance, a silent thank you... and an unspoken I'm sorry.
I'm new to this. I love this. I want to soak in all of the glory of waiting, wishing, hoping, crying, and praying. I know God is good. His timing? Perfect.
~ Ashley
We received the package of forms a few days ago and instantly I was ON IT, like some sort of superhero in a cape. But today, while working on filling out the forms and answering some of the tougher, more personal questions, the emotional distance I've been putting between myself and the realization of how HUGE adoption is came crashing in on itself. I broke down. And I realized a couple things. First, I realized that I am an emotional sap... a big, soupy sap. And second, more importantly, I realized that love is easy.
I already love this child, and I love his biological mother and father. I've not yet been a mother, but having to consider the question "How do you feel about your adopted child's mother and father?" almost made me drop to my knees in thankfulness and tears. I cry at the thought of them. I do not yet know my future child and I do not yet know his darling mother, but I'm filled with gratitude and humility, faced with the overwhelming thought that giving up her newborn child so that he can have a chance to live out his dreams will probably be the hardest thing she'll ever have to do. I have no words. I hope she knows that God is good, and that I will love him like he is my own - because he will be.
Adopted children are shared. Shared by many people, in many places. They have two mothers, two fathers, and a God that orchestrates it all. I hope to meet their family; hug them and thank them while feeling completely inadequate and at a loss for words. How do you thank someone for their own flesh and blood? I fear you can't. I suspect that all the hope, gratitude, sadness and grace will be felt through a look, a glance, a silent thank you... and an unspoken I'm sorry.
I'm new to this. I love this. I want to soak in all of the glory of waiting, wishing, hoping, crying, and praying. I know God is good. His timing? Perfect.
~ Ashley
Monday, September 27, 2010
We have a date for the yard sale!
If you're in the Nashville area and you have anything you'd like to donate to our sale,
please contact me at: JJBenson34@gmail.com. Thanks!!
please contact me at: JJBenson34@gmail.com. Thanks!!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
A HUGE thanks!! Excitement building...
First of all, we want to extend a deep, heartfelt thank you to some very gracious people who have donated to our adoption fund: Belinda Sullivan, Chris Hood, Dennis Board, Kimberly Mullin, Mary Fox and Steven Maldonado. Words cannot express our gratitude for your kindness. Anyone interested in donating, we've embedded a donation link on the left side of the page on this blog. :)
A few quick updates on how things are going:
- Going "public" with our adoption news has connected us with some amazing people who have firsthand experience with international adoption. I had no idea so many friends, colleagues and acquaintances of ours have either adopted or know people who have. We've been introduced to several new friends who have been really kind and helpful. Having a strong support group and resource for information has already paid off: we learned of a different agency than the one we'd initially planned on using, and this agency actually has a faster turnaround time and is less expensive!! Ashley's contacted them and had a great conversation with our point person there, and we just received all the application paperwork yesterday. This is a great thing, but faster turnaround time means less time to raise the funds due. So we're hustling to figure out ways to come up with the first $5,000. Lots of prayers, lots of brainstorming going on...
- Had a great time hanging out last night with our friends Brian ("Yogi") and Shannon Christian, who adopted their son Aidan from South Korea six years ago. I have no idea where Aidan gets all of his energy (wish I had a fraction of his seemingly endless supply); he's definitely a happy, playful kid. We were riveted hearing them discuss all the details of their journey, the ups and downs and the adjustments they went through, while sitting in the room with this beautiful child and seeing with our own eyes what God has done for all three of them. We left feeling even closer to the goal, though it still yet seems so far away. Yogi came up with a pretty fantastic idea to help raise funds for us -- we were already planning on holding another fundraiser yard sale in October. Yogi decided he and Shannon are going to have one as well on the same date and donate the funds to our adoption account, and he insisted on relaying the idea to everyone he knows all across the country, suggesting we hold multiple yard sales simultaneously for the cause! We're so grateful that they're planning on doing this. If any of you reading this blog are interested in participating, that would be amazing. Stay tuned, we'll be choosing the date sometime today (it will be a Saturday in October).
I guess that's about it for now. If you have any other ideas or input, we'd love to hear it! More soon. Much love to all of you.
- JJ
Friday, September 10, 2010
Our first fundraiser: a yard sale!
Hey everybody. JJ here. We had our first fundraiser last weekend: a yard sale! I wish we would have sold our yard (so I wouldn't have to mow it), but alas, this sale was not quite that literal.
Seriously, though, some fantastic friends donated items to this sale to help raise money for our adoption -- HUGE hugs of appreciation go out to Marcelo Chisholm, Cat Henneberry and Micki Heckman, Alicia Teasley, Erika Livingston, Kelsi Mason and Lake Hankal for their generosity.
Our super-awesome buddy Emjae made it a joint yard sale venture; she came over Thursday night to help get everything organized and in some sort of logical order.
Here is Emjae:
Emjae manned the ship for us Friday while we both were at work. We were pleasantly surprised to see a good steady stream of folks out yard-sale-ing early Friday morning before we left. We made nearly $200 Friday morning alone.
Our big-ticket items: an electric lawnmower, a table saw, two tv's, two Gazelle workout machines, tons of women's clothes and shoes, over a thousand CDs, lots of books and a large dresser/mirror set. And a driveway full of weird random things.
Business started dying down around noon, and by 1:30 or so, Ash and I were ready for lunch and growing tired of sitting there by ourselves in the driveway.
So we closed up shop, dragged what was left back into the garage, then added up all the totals and were THRILLED to be able to deposit nearly $500 into our adoption fund account. This fundraiser will be a huge help in starting the process!
We had enough stuff left over from this sale (and more generous souls who have been offering more items to us) to warrant holding another fundraiser sale soon. It will most likely be sometime in October; not sure yet exactly when. We'll keep y'all posted so you can swing by. Be sure to bring a few extra bucks when you do -- you never know what other ceramic animal items we might be peddling. ;)
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